No rewind button for a do-over.

No pause button to ponder.

No fast forward button to end suffering.

Yet, we create endless loops of

woulda

              coulda

                        shoulda

thinking.

Our rational minds tell us we can’t relive a moment or know all that the future holds, yet we lie awake at 3:00 a.m. reliving what was and worrying about what might be.

Or we find ourselves in a glorious moment and say, “I wish I could freeze time.”

How do we stop this magical thinking?

Past. Mine the past for lessons and be done.

• Did you learn someone can’t be trusted? Now you know.

• Did you learn that you need to be better prepared for staff meetings? Now you know.

• Did you learn not to talk politics with your neighbor? Now you know (and he’s wrong😊).

Present. Learn mindfulness through meditation.  

• If it’s a joyful moment, be present and grateful for your cup running over.

• If it’s a challenging and difficult moment, acknowledge that it is out of your control and moments pass.

Future. Do what you can knowing that so much is unpredictable.

• Make a list of everything that is within and outside of your control for a future event.

• Make a list of contingency plans for all that is not in your control, e.g., borrowing folding chairs in case you’ll need to move your party indoors if it rains.

   

None of the above is easy, but with practice it becomes very doable.  

It’s your mind. You really do get a say about what goes on in there.