“Glad you’re doing well, especially after all the trouble you’ve had with keeping a job.”

“Your son is great. I remember all his trouble in school in the 1990s.

“Why the heck are you changing careers after all your education and experience?”

Healthy relationships, whether personal or professional, honor who you are today and share your excitement for your future.

Healthy relationships are energizing.

Healthy relationships don’t try to keep you tethered to the past.

Why are some people such bummers? It’s because of their own frail egos and insecurities. They make your growth and change about themselves.

These Negative Nancys and Normans are not evil or diabolical. They are just human with their own challenges.

But that doesn’t mean you need to own their words. Don’t let their negativity seep in.

You have three basic choices on how to deal with these people.

First, you can call them out with, “Whoa, that feels hurtful. Why are you bringing that up?”

Second, say nothing. This person doesn’t have your back. Use this awareness in your future interactions.

Third, sever the relationship if this happens nearly every time you’re with this person. If that’s not possible, e.g., family, colleague, neighbor, minimize your interaction with them.  

The ultimate antidote to these bummers is to surround yourself, in all parts of your life, with people who celebrate you for who you are today and where you’re headed.

Those are your true peeps.

Hang onto them.