Move Beyond Either/Or Thinking

Humans are a binary species.

It’s amazing that with our extraordinary brain power, we too often give ourselves only two choices.

Win/Lose.

Happy/Sad.

Selfish/Selfless.

My clients learn to expand their CHOICES by expanding their THINKING. How do they do this?

By placing their thoughts along a continuum.

Other than sports and auctions, life is generally not divided into winning and losing. Most of us on most days are somewhere in the middle of the continuum, probably closer to the “win” end.

There are days when we feel oh so happy and days when we feel truly sad. Most days we’re somewhere in the middle of the happy-sad continuum.

The selfish/selfless dichotomy is perhaps my favorite. This one I hear from a lot of women, particularly moms of school age children. They feel that taking time for themselves is selfish because they somehow got the message that good mom equals martyr mom equals selfless mom. The irony is that taking personal time without the kids, aka refueling, makes them a better mom.

The next time you catch yourself being a binary human, pause and ask yourself if you have more options than you originally thought.  

Start thinking in terms of a continuum.

The only downside is the glorious overwhelm of choices before you.