Not In Your Control? Don't Worry About It.

My extremely laid-back husband was asked if, while in the middle of his heart attack last year, he was worried as he lay on the operating table, bright lights overhead, and a team ready to sedate him and get to work.

His answer: no.

His explanation: There were only two possible outcomes. One, I live. The other, I die. And I have no control over either, so what was there to worry about?

OK, so most people aren’t this zen while their life hangs in the balance, but there is a lesson in this for the rest of us.

Worrying is a time-consuming life suck that doesn’t change the outcome.

We worry about the weather.

We worry about what may happen.

We worry about what someone else may do or think.

We worry about [fill in your answer here].

I’ve heard people say, “I can’t help it, I’m just a worrier.” I believe them. I understand their nervous system and their upbringing may cause them to be on high alert.

But even natural worriers have options to worry less.

There are plenty of tools and techniques to help calm the mind and body. No one is doomed to be a major worrier. There is a choice to be made.

The goal isn’t to become as naturally calm as my husband. For most of us that’s not an option.

But we can focus on what is in our control and what isn’t. Or who is in our control (ourselves) and who isn’t (everyone else).

It’s not easy but I know it’s doable. I see changes in my clients. I see changes in myself.

I’m here to help.